1. JC Penney + sale = time spent in stores other than JC Penney is time wasted!
2. Buy shoes last, so the shoe box doesn't stab you through the bag the whole rest of the time you're shopping. This is especially important if you're inclined to carry the bag over your shoulder a la Santa Claus.
3. Lady, if your toddler is so exhausted that she's wailing "I'M TIRED! I'M TIRED!" pretty much incessantly, it is time to exit the fitting room and call it a day. Or go put the kid in the car so she can take a nap (with the windows cracked, of course...and leave her a bowl of water...what do you take me for, some kind of savage?).
4. Even Orange Julius and Sbarro fare will look like manna of the gods after six hours of shopping (probably less true for seasoned mall veterans).
5. Yes, Virginia, there really is an Easter Bunny.
6. Last, but definitely most important, beware the neck mannequins!