Thursday, September 30, 2010

In the (literal) shit


Day 175


Day 265

Part of being a parent is cleaning up other people's crap. Not figurative crap (though, that too), but actual crap. Some days are more...productive...than others. And some are just downright horrifying.

Our morning playgroup activity was canceled on account of rain, so I was home all day with two very stir-crazy children. On the plus side, it gave me a chance to make a sizable dent in the pre-trip laundry that needed washing. However, in addition to the general manic behavior of the wee ones, it was a day of prodigious pooping.

It wasn't the sheer number of poopy diapers I changed today (which was actually a rather modest 4, between the 2 kids). No, there were some other aspects that made the day...memorable.

First at bat we had the boyo. As he is occasionally wont to do, he decided it was the perfect sort of morning for ridding himself of pants and just running around in a diaper. Usually I'm perfectly okay with this, but that attitude backfired on me today. It started when I noticed a suspicious glob of something mushy and brown on the carpet. Not a big glob...might have been a tiny piece of old banana, were it not for the fact that no one had yet eaten any bananas thus far in the morning. So I cleaned it up and checked on my suspected culprit; sure enough, Soren needed a diaper change. And when I heaved him up to change him, I discovered that there had been a serious lack of containment, leading me to mount a wider search across the floor for additional small brown globs. I could hardly believe my good fortune when only one turned up. Surely, I thought, there had to be more, but I was fairly thorough and could find nothing else on the carpet.

Shortly after completing this task, I discovered that Eleri was wet, so I took her in to be changed as well. She had stealth-pooped, but only a tiny bit. Small potatoes.

A little later, sitting on the yoga ball by the window, I intended to watch the rain outside for a few minutes. Soren came over right after I sat down, wanting to climb up on my lap. But as he approached, I detected a definite poop-like odor in the vicinity. I checked his diaper again, chagrined at the prospect of back-to-back-to-back diaper changes (3 within the last 10 minutes), but he was clean. I checked his back and legs for anything I might have missed cleaning up before. Nothing. I checked Eleri. Nope. And then I noticed the source of the smell. There, on my pants. Poop on my pants. Sigh.

Changed the pants, went on about the afternoon. Eventually changed the kids one more time each and believed myself to hopefully be in the clear for the day. And that's when it happened.

There I was, sitting at the computer desk. The kids were on the floor, playing. Between them sat one of Soren's soccer balls. Suddenly Soren declared, "The ball is pooped, all over!" And ugh, indeed it was. I could see what was smeared, nay caked, across about a quarter of the ball, even from across the room. I'm not sure how I got over to Soren and the ball so fast, but I managed to whisk away the offending object before there had been any sort of dramatic transfer to either carpet or child. (Eleri, mercifully, was spared entirely.) It would seem that, shortly following the containment-fail of Soren's first diaper, before I realized he merited changing, he had sat down on the soccer ball for a moment before continuing on his merry way. Gack.

Anyway. Just another super exciting parenting moment! Aren't you so glad you read my post today? ;) This is the risk you run, I suppose. When we're not up to anything exciting, you might get a super boring summary-of-the-day. Or you might get a poop story.

A couple of other notable items from the day (indeed, the poopstravaganza was not the only excitement around here!) - there was a very brief period this evening during which both children were napping. Eleri had been out for a while, and Soren had been sitting on the couch, fiddling with my ipod. I snagged it from him for just a quick moment to check something, and not 10 seconds later, I looked down to see that he had passed right out. Hehe. Unusual, but not unwelcome.

Also of note, I got myself a pre-trip haircut this evening. The first part of our journey is going to include a family reunion, and given the photo-happy tendencies of my kin, you would be unwise to show up to such a shindig with bad hair unless you're totally happy with your bad hair being captured for eternity from every possible angle in about 100,000 different photographs. I am not thrilled about such a prospect, so I am now sporting a shiny new cut. Huzzah!

All right. That is all. Good night!

1 comment:

ml said...

poop. poop. poop. hilarious and horrifying all at once! enjoy the trip west!