Sunday, April 03, 2011

30DOB #9

Day 9: Write about your most embarrassing moment.

I'm not going to do that. I think the moments that are the very most personally mortifying have no business being posted on a blog. Well, maybe an anonymous/pseudonymous blog. Maybe. But I am just not gonna go there. Besides, the whole point of the "share embarrassing moments" thing is to be able to laugh, with others, at yourself. And the very most embarrassing moments, for me at least, are devoid of humor and characterized instead only by discomfort.

Fear not, however, for there have been plenty of times when I have indeed embarrassed myself rather hilariously, and I'm happy to share one or two of those with you. I'll even illustrate 'em.

So this one time, at band camp...

It may not have actually been band camp. Might have been pep band practice or something, but I recall that it was just FarmerMegan and me in the band room with our band teacher (Mr. H) and the college guy student-teaching there for the semester (Dan). I don't remember the specific context, but I was bringing up the song Vehicle in conversation (it was one of the songs we played in pep band). I said, "You know, Vehicle." And then proceeded to sing a bar while doing this bizarre, hopping-backward-on-one-foot, not-quite-dance thing.

"I'm your vehicle, bay-beh! I'll take you anywhere you wanna go..."

FarmerMegan and Mr. H were well accustomed to my occasional (okay, frequent) bursts of weirdness, and regarded me with patient bemusement. Dan, though, gave me a look that made clear the precise level of my dorkitude. Twelve or so years later, it's just another silly memory, but I was definitely embarrassed at the time.

Another humorously embarrassing moment was the first time I met Tom's parents. FarmerMegan again makes an appearance in this story, as it was the day of her wedding. I'd gone with her, and the other bridesmaids, to get our hair and makeup done that morning. Everyone else was made up in a nice, understated way - hair subtly curled or in an up-do, makeup applied without too heavy a hand. My stylist, however, must have thought I needed some extra "help" or something. She gave my short hair as much volume as she possibly could and hit me with lots of eye shadow, mascara, blush, and just for good measure, a nice heaping helping of dark lipstick. I looked about as unlike me as it's possible to look.

Tom and I were going to his parents' house directly after the wedding. I didn't have any makeup remover, so I did what I could to scrub off the worst of the caked mascara and ridiculous lipstick. Nevertheless, I was still hugely embarrassed and was sure Tom's parents would wonder what kind of trollop their beloved son had brought home with him.

(It actually all turned out fine, but my cheeks are still burning right now at the mere memory.)

I admit, as far as embarrassing moments go, those are pretty weak on the mortification quotient. But they're funny (to me, anyway) and were easy to draw. So that's what you're getting. ;)


Anonymous said...

I remember meeting my son's beautiful, intelligent and witty sweetheart and being absolutely certain that she could not have been more perfect a match for him!

Carrie Ann

madre said...

And us as well, when we met Tom!

MC Squared said...

That was a lot of makeup!

Your paintbrush skills are awesome.

susan said...

I'm glad I didn't make a completely awful first impression. I was pretty sure you guys would see my good qualities eventually, at any rate. ;)

Thanks, MC^2. I'm no Alli (of Hyperbole and a Half), but I do amuse myself with my MS Paint creations.